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Previous Polls

Here are the previous polls that have been held. When a poll closes, its results move here. Look for more previous results here in the future.

Who is Cartman's Father?
(105 votes)

Nobody thought that the father would actually be Mrs. Cartman.
1. 19.0% - 20 VOTES Mr. Garrison
2. 13.3% - 14 VOTES 1991 Denver Broncos
3. 10.5% - 11 VOTES Ned
4. 9.5% - 10 VOTES Kevin
5. 8.6% - 9 VOTES Chef
6. 8.6% - 9 VOTES Maphesto
7. 5.7% - 6 VOTES Uncle Jimbo
8. 4.8% - 5 VOTES Mr. Broslofsky
9. 4.8% - 5 VOTES Officer Barbrady
10. 4.8% - 5 VOTES Chief Runningwater
12. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Jesus (Other)
13. 1.0% - 1 VOTE John Elway (other)
14. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Big Gay Al (other)
15. 1.0% - 1 VOTE One of the three guuys standing in the background (other)
16. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Kenny (other)
17. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Scott Yamada
18. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Abraham Lincon (other)
19. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Bill Clinton (other)
20. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Four-assed monkey (other)
21. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Mr. Hat (other)
22. 1.0% - 1 VOTE Grandpa Marsh


How would you rate "Not Without My Anus"?
(168 votes)

Apparantly many people enjoyed the episode because the top three vote getters were all above average and five of the top seven vote getters were for above average.
1. 22.0% - 37 VOTES Rating of 10
2. 16.7% - 28 VOTES Rating of 8
3. 13.7% - 23 VOTES Rating of 7
4. 12.5% - 21 VOTES Rating of 5
5. 8.9% - 15 VOTES Rating of 1
6. 8.3% - 14 VOTES Rating of 6
7. 6.5% - 11 VOTES Rating of 9
8. 6.5% - 11 VOTES Rating of 3
9. 2.4% - 4 VOTES Rating of 4
10. 2.4% - 4 VOTES Rating of 2


Next Celebrity Guest
(157 votes)

Jim Carrey blew away the competition.
1. 22.9% - 36 VOTES Jim Carrey
2. 5.1% - 8 VOTES Adam Sandler
3. 3.2% - 5 VOTES Marilyn Manson
4. 2.5% - 4 VOTES Robin Williams
5. 2.5% - 4 VOTES Pamela Anderson
6. 2.5% - 4 VOTES Will Smith
7. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Bill Murray
8. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Spice Girls
9. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Michael Jackson
10. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Carmen Electra
11. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Jerry Seinfeld
12. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Chris Rock
13. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Mariah Carey
14. 1.9% - 3 VOTES Mark Hammil (Luke Skywalker)
15. 1.3% - 2 VOTES John Elway
16. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Jery Springer
17. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Rosie O' Donnell
18. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Bill Clinton
19. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Drew Carey
20. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Puff Daddy
21. 1.3% - 2 VOTES David Letterman
22. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Ice Cube
23. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Mike Myers
24. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Trey Parker and Matt Stone
25. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Michael Jordan
26. 1.3% - 2 VOTES Arnold Swazenegger
27. 0.6% - 1 VOTE "Weird" Al Yankovic
28. 0.6% - 1 VOTE The Hanson Sisters
29. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Ben Stein
30. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Chevy Chase
31. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Terrence McKenna
32. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Green Day
33. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Chris Tucker
34. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Tyra Banks
35. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Howard Stern
36. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Bruce Willis
37. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Craig Kilborn
38. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Jackie Chan
39. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Barry White
40. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Jim Morrison
41. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Mike Judge
42. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Nicolas Hexum (311)
43. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Arnold Palmer
44. 0.6% - 1 VOTE James Earl Jones
45. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Tom Selleck
46. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Andrew Dice Clay
47. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Sylvester Stallone
48. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Leonardo Dicaprio
49. 0.6% - 1 VOTE George Wendt
50. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Matt Lillard
51. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Lead singer of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones
52. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Pee-Wee Herman
53. 0.6% - 1 VOTE William Shatner
54. 0.6% - 1 VOTE John Cleese
55. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Wayne Gretzky
56. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Cameron Diaz
57. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Hollywood Hogan
58. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Ben Affleck
59. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Mancow Muller
60. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Marion Barry
61. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Woody Allen
62. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Harrison Ford
63. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Pierce Brosnan
64. 0.6% - 1 VOTE White Zombie
65. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Ringo Starr
66. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Mel Brooks
67. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Nine Inch Nails
68. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Jaris Cocker
69. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Claire Danes
70. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Dennis Leary
71. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Dan Castellena (Voice of Homer Simpson) (I'm not sure if I spelled it right)
72. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Roseanne
73. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Bill Gates
74. 0.6% - 1 VOTE Richard Simmons


Did Wendy really give her Halloween candy to the poor people in Nairobi?
(197 votes)

Click Here To See What She Really Did With It

It looks as if she didn't really give it to the poor.
1. 62.4% - 123 VOTES No
2. 37.6% - 74 VOTES Yes


Will Stan and Wendy ever make sweet love?
(205 votes)

Stan's sex life is looking up.
1. 68.8% - 141 VOTES Yes
2. 31.2% - 64 VOTES No


Who did a better job as an animal - George Clooney or Jay Leno?
(162 votes)

The majoritey thought they sucked.
1. 45.7% - 74 VOTES They Both Sucked
2. 32.7% - 53 VOTES George Clooney
3. 21.6% - 35 VOTES Jay Leno


Did the revealment of Cartman's father piss you off or did you find it hilarious?
(120 votes)

Most people thought it was hilarious.
1. 62.5% - 75 VOTES It Was Hilarious
2. 37.5% - 45 VOTES It Pissed Me Off


Who's bris will you be attending?
(63 votes)

Cartman's bris will be the event of the year.
1. 60.3% - 38 VOTES Cartman's Bris
2. 39.7% - 25 VOTES Stan's Bris


Will you ever go to Tom's Rhinoplasty for your plastic surgery needs?
(49 votes)

It looks as if Tom might have a successful business in the future.
1. 61.2% - 30 VOTES Hell Yes
2. 38.8% - 19 VOTES Hell No


Poll #3

Favorite Cartman Quote
(190 votes)

Kick@$$ seems to be everybody's new favorite catchphrase.
1. 14 VOTES "Kick@$$!" (Various Episodes)
2. 14 VOTES "Yeh, if some girl ever tried to kick my @$$, I'd be like, HEY, why don't you stop dressin' me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with some guy I don't even know, on my dad's bed!" (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
3. 11 VOTES "Beefcake, BEEFCAKE!" (Weight Gain 4000)
4. 10 VOTES "I'll kick ya in the nuts!" (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
5. 9 VOTES "I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anyhting, I'd be like, HEY, you get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!" (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
6. 9 VOTES "No kitty, that's mah pot pie!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
7. 7 VOTES "I'll roshambo you for it" (Mecha Streisand)
8. 7 VOTES "I'm not fat, I'm big boned!" (Various Episodes)
9. 7 VOTES "MOM, kitty's being a dildo!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
10. 6 VOTES Kyle's mom is a bitch in D-Minor (song in Mr. Hankey)
11. 6 VOTES "You will respect my authoritah!" (Chicken Lover)
12. 5 VOTES "Follow your dreams, you can accomplish your goals, I'm living proof. Beefcake! BEEFACKE!!" (Weight Gain 4000)
13. 5 VOTES "Sweet!" (Various Episodes)
14. 4 VOTES "I'll blow your freakin' head off!" (The Volcano)
15. 4 VOTES "Yeah, I want chessy poofs!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
16. 3 VOTES "No kitty, that's a BAD kitty!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
17. 3 VOTES "But mom, I need it for TO-MOR-ROW!" (Weight Gain 4000)
18. 3 VOTES "Well, you know, you'll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they'll come, marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass. And you'll be all like, HEY, get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!" (Weight Gain 4000)
19. 3 VOTES "I'm not fat, I'm festively plump." (Mr. Hankey)
20. 3 VOTES "Screw you guys, I'm goin home." (Various Episodes)
21. 2 VOTES "Would you like some more tea Polly Prissy Pants?" (Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut)
22. 2 VOTES "Yeah, intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonaise." (Weight Gain 4000)
23. 2 VOTES "God dammit! Don't shoot me!" (The Volcano)
24. 2 VOTES "Goddamnit! They didn't do anything to my @$$!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
25. 2 VOTES "Mom, can you get me some Weight Gain 4000?" (Weight Gain 4000)
26. 2 VOTES "Dolphins, eskimos, same thing...it''s all a bunch of tree huggin' hippie crap!" (Weight Gain 4000)
27. 2 VOTES "Stan, your dog is a gay homosexual." (Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boatride)
28. 2 VOTES "Kyle, you can't eat Christams snow because you're a jew!" (Mr. Hankey)
29. 2 VOTES How come everything today has involved either something coming in or going out of my ass? (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
30. 2 VOTES "If a woman ever tried to kick my @$$, I'd be like, HEY woman...go make babies!" (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
31. 2 VOTES "Son of a bitch!" (Various Episodes)
32. 2 VOTES "That's it! Screw you guys, I'm goin' home. Talking poo is where I draw the line!" (Mr. Hankey)
33. 2 VOTES The fireman is very magical, if you rub his helmet, he spits in your eye. (Ike's Bris)
34. 2 VOTES "God dammit! Would you shut the hell up! Nobody gives a rat's ass!" (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)
35. 2 VOTES "If you so much as touch kitty's ass, I'll put fire crackers in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants." (Summer Sucks)"
36. 2 VOTES "Democrats piss me off!" (The Volcano)
37. 1 VOTE "If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like...HEY bitch you go knit me a sweater! (An Elepant Makes Love to a Pig)
38. 1 VOTE "My mom said if you want to be a lesbian, you have to lick carpet." (Tom's Rhinoplasty)
39. 1 VOTE "I think you're a big fat piece crap........AY! (Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut)
40. 1 VOTE Heh, too bad drinking scotch isn't a paying job, or else Kenny's dad would be a millionare. (silence) KENNY! KENNY! YOUR FAMILY IS POOR KENNY! YOUR FAMILY IS POOR!....I don't like Kenny anymore. He just doesn't communicate. (Pink Eye)
41. 1 VOTE "Hey guys, guess what? My grandma was dutch irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, so that makes me quarter lesbian!" (Tom's Rhinoplasty)
42. 1 VOTE "Stan wants to kiss, Wen-dy Test-a-berger." (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
43. 1 VOTE "The candy, focus on the candy." (Pink Eye)
44. 1 VOTE "I am NOT under alien control!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
45. 1 VOTE "After all this time, I'm a black African-American." (Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut)
46. 1 VOTE "You see Starvin' Marvin, these are appetizers what you eat before you eat to make you more hungry. Uh, the food's here, thats it for the appetizers" (Starvin' Marvin)
47. 1 VOTE "I would if I could, you son of a bitch!!! (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
48. 1 VOTE "I've been lickin' the damn carpet for two hours and still don't feel like a lesbian!" (Tom's Rhinoplasty)
49. 1 VOTE "OW, my ass!!!" (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
50. 1 VOTE "You don't just chop off someone's fireman." (Ike's Bris)
51. 1 VOTE "You guys suck, I'm goin' home." (Weight Gain 4000 - I think)
52. 1 VOTE Well, thats sounds pretty sweet." (Cartman Gets an Anal Probe)
53. 1 VOTE Yeah, well screw you too!!!" (Various Episodes)
54. 1 VOTE Cartoons kick ass!!! (Volcano)
55. 1 VOTE "My uncle said smokin' pot was pretty cool." (Death)
56. 1 VOTE "Screw you, hippie!!!" (Various Episodes)
57. 1 VOTE "Yeah? Well I looked in my mom's closet,too, and saw what I'm getting...The Ultra-Vibe Pleasure 2000...I don't know, but it sounds pretty sweet." (Mr. Hankey)
58. 1 VOTE "I was just down in the SPC kickin' it with some G's on the westsiiide" (Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut)
59. 1 VOTE "AY!!!" (Various Episodes)
60. 1 VOTE Ants in the Pants!? What the hell is Ants in the Pants!?" (Damien)
61. 1 VOTE The Story About Scuzzlebutt (The Volcano)
62. 1 VOTE "He's doing something to his ass. He's not kicking his ass, but he's definitley doing something to his ass." (Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boatride)


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